A Restless, Unsettled
Heart
Lysa
TerKeurst
"I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched
land." Psalm 143:6 (NIV)
A few years ago, I sat with a beautiful young woman as
tears streamed down her face. Six months before our meeting, her world was
full.
A loving husband, a healthy toddler, fun friends, and a new
home.
But part of her heart felt restless, unsettled, a
little
empty. She couldn't put her finger on it. She tried talking to friends, but
they
laughed it off as something that would pass.
Only the feeling didn't pass.
She felt detached from her husband and disappointed
that
his love didn't fulfill her. Why couldn't he make her feel loved? She'd
always
thought of marriage as the ultimate love. He was going to be the one to
right
her wrongs and fill up her insecurities, or so she
thought.
Questions bombarded her ... What is wrong with
him?
Why doesn't he say what he's supposed to say? Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not
pretty enough, witty enough, good enough?
Then one day she met a man who said things she'd
longed to
hear her husband say. He made her feel pretty and witty. Soon, she
rationalized
that she'd never really loved her husband. She convinced herself she'd made
a
mistake marrying so young. That this new man was her true
love.
She fell into his arms. A web of lies was spun. The
thrill
of new romance clouded every decision.
She had not wanted to come to the women's retreat. She
knew it might make her feel guilty, and she was past guilty feelings. She
was
just waiting for the right time to leave her husband and start over with the
real love of her life.
But her friends had started to grow suspicious of her
pulling away. So, to appease them, she went.
Over the course of the weekend, the walls she'd so
carefully constructed to keep everyone at a distance and her secret hidden
started to crumble. By Saturday night, she sat down with me and confessed it
all.
She desperately wanted to know how I felt so full of
God's
love. She'd never known that kind of relationship with Him. She now
recognized
it wasn't the love of another man her heart craved; it was the love of
God.
I think this is true for many of us. We spend years
chasing things we think will make us feel loved. But everything this world
offers is temporary. Everything. And will leave our souls dry, crying out to
God, "I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched
land"
(Psalm 143:6).
The kind of love our souls crave is lasting, eternal.
And
only God can fill up our hearts with that kind of love.
Chasing love outside the will of God invites so much
into
our lives that is the exact opposite of love. First
Corinthians 13:4-8 is a picture of God's perfect love. It is patient and
kind.
It does not envy ... it is not self-seeking ... it does not delight in evil
but
rejoices with the truth ... it always protects and perseveres. Love never
fails.
This is not a description of what is inherently ours
when
we fall in love with a person. It's a description of God's
love.
Because our souls were designed for God's fulfilling
love,
if we aren't staying closely connected to Him, our hearts will start to feel
empty. Restless. Unfulfilled. Parched.
Let us never think we are beyond being tempted. If
we're
honest, we're only a few bad decisions away from the same mess my friend is
untangling herself from.
The kind of love our souls crave will never be found
in
the things of this world. Lasting, satisfying love will only be found when
we
stop chasing others or possessions, and thirst for the things of
God.
Dear Lord, please help me see my marriage for the sacred gift
that
it is. Help me to remain faithful in a way that honors You and brings joy to
our
home. In Jesus' Name, Amen.