Happy Sunday

When It Feels Better To Blame Someone Else 

by Lysa TerKeurst

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10 (NIV 1984)

You want to know one of the hardest three-word statements to make? "I am wrong."

It's so easy to point out wrong in others. It's so easy to want it to be someone else's fault. It's so easy to get critical and cynical and caught up in our limited perspectives.

But boy is it hard to see our own flaws. Where we went wrong. What we need to own.

I've been challenging myself on this. I recently had to correct one of my children for trying to blame someone else for something my child needed to own themselves. I could clearly see the pride, the insecurity, and the fear all wrapped around her blaming words. And why could I see it so clearly?

Because I see it in myself.

Bummer huh?

I had to have a conversation where I explained to my child something I'm learning myself. About blaming. And the dangerous path blaming can take us on.

In most conflicts I have two ways I can choose to travel:

The Path of Pride: I can blame the other person, focus only on their flaws, and refuse to own my part of it. That response will increase my pride and decrease the Lord's blessing in my life.

The Humble Way: I can honestly assess what I'm contributing to this conflict, admit where I went wrong, and ask for forgiveness. That response will lead to humility and increase the Lord's blessing in my life.

I see this principle woven throughout the Bible:

James 4:6, "That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (NIV 1984)

Proverbs 29:23, "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor." (NIV 1984)

Matthew 23:12, "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (NIV 1984)

I know this. I believe this. So, why do I still find it hard to implement sometimes?

Well, here's where my head wants to go when I start examining certain conflicts: "But what if it really isn't my fault? It's not fair to assign the blame with me when this person did this and this and this."

But that's the wrong direction to go. Don't try to assign the blame. Just own the part you brought into the conflict. When I approach a conflict with a heart of humility, I've yet to see where I haven't added something to the issue.

And if the other person doesn't own their issues—the Lord will deal with them. (See the verses above.)

There are gifts hidden in the tough stuff of conflict. There is grace and honor to be gained. But I'll only see those gifts if I stop blaming others and start examining myself.

Dear Lord, I want to follow Your teaching in this. But it's so hard. I'm mad and frustrated and hurt. The last thing I feel like doing is examining where I am wrong. But I know that's what I need to do. Will You soften my heart? Will You give me eyes to see beyond my hurt? Will You help me cut through the assumptions and wrong-thinking? I want to honor You in this, I really do. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Tell me the story of Jesus

Tell me the story of Jesus,
Write on my heart every word.
Tell me the story most precious,
Sweetest that ever was heard.
Tell how the angels in chorus,
Sang as they welcomed His birth.
“Glory to God in the highest!
Peace and good tidings to earth.”

   Refrain

    Tell me the story of Jesus,
    Write on my heart every word.
    Tell me the story most precious,
    Sweetest that ever was heard.

Fasting alone in the desert,
Tell of the days that are past.
How for our sins He was tempted,
Yet was triumphant at last.
Tell of the years of His labor,
Tell of the sorrow He bore.
He was despised and afflicted,
Homeless, rejected and poor.

   Refrain

Tell of the cross where they nailed Him,
Writhing in anguish and pain.
Tell of the grave where they laid Him,
Tell how He liveth again.
Love in that story so tender,
Clearer than ever I see.
Stay, let me weep while you whisper,
Love paid the ransom for me.

   Refrain

Daily Smile:

A schoolteacher's son brought his report card home. The father said; let's see what you have accomplished. He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. What do you have to say about this Johnny? 

Well dad at lease you know I'm not cheating.

In The News:

Egypt: Copts Sentenced to Death for Anti-Islam Film
An Egyptian court Wednesday convicted in absentia seven Egyptian Coptic Christians and a Florida-based American pastor, sentencing them to death on charges linked to an anti-Islam film that had sparked riots in parts of the Muslim world, CNSNews.com reports. The case was seen as largely symbolic because the defendants, most of whom live in the United States, are all outside Egypt and thus unlikely to ever face the sentence. The charges were brought in September during a wave of public outrage in Egypt over the amateur film, "Innocence of Muslims," which was produced by an Egyptian-American Copt. The low-budget film, parts of which were made available online, portrays the Islamic prophet Muhammad as a fraud, buffoon and womanizer. Egypt's official news agency said the courts found the defendants guilty of harming national unity, insulting and publicly attacking Islam, and spreading false information -- charges that carry the death penalty.

'Two and a Half Men' Star Apologizes for 'Filth' Remarks
The teen actor in the CBS comedy "Two and a Half Men" is now apologizing for calling the show "filth" and urging people not to watch, CBN News reports. Nineteen-year-old Angus Jones, who has played the character Jake on the sitcom since he was 10, said he'd had a spiritual awakening and no longer wanted to be on the show. "I'm on 'Two and a Half Men' and I don't want to be on it," he said in a video testimony. "Please stop watching it. Please stop filling your head with filth. ... You cannot be a true, God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can't. I'm not okay with what I'm learning, what the Bible says, and being on that television show." But in a statement Tuesday, Jones said he was sorry if his remarks "reflected indifference to and disrespect" to his colleagues and "a lack of appreciation of a great opportunity."