Renee
Swope
"'But Lord,' Gideon asked, 'how can I save Israel? My clan is
the
weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.'" Judges 6:15 (NIV
1984)
A few years ago I felt paralyzed with self-doubt about
a
big ministry commitment I'd made, but had never done before. After begging
God
to zap me with confidence, and realizing it wasn't happening, I asked Him to
reveal what made me insecure.
Immediately I remembered Gideon, a man whom God called
to
do big things, yet he was paralyzed by inadequacy. From reading his story in
Judges 6, I knew Gideon overcame his doubts and fears by focusing on what
God
thought about him, instead of what he thought about
himself.
But first he honestly processed his doubts with God.
Recent conflicts and defeats caused Gideon to doubt God's presence and
promises.
When an angel of the Lord told him to defeat the Midianites, Gideon asked,
"'How can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest ... and I am the least
in my
family'" (Judges 6:15).
Gideon's perception of himself made him feel
inadequate.
We aren't so different when damaged emotions and insecurities from our past
influence how we see ourselves today.
It was time for me to get honest with God about my
uncertainties too. I needed to figure out what triggered my self-doubts and
led
me to such a yucky place of uncertainty.
I remembered how a conflict with a friend that week
made
me doubt if I should even be in ministry. After all, self-doubt
whispered, if I can't maintain healthy relationships, how can I help
others?
Also, feedback on a project kept hounding me. One
harsh
criticism overshadowed several positive comments and consumed my focus. I'd
also
been comparing my abilities to other women. Self-doubt convinced me I wasn't
as
gifted as they were.
Conflict, criticism, and comparison had sent me into
the
shadows of doubt.
What about you? When conflict arises, do you assume it
disqualifies you from ministries or callings? Does criticism paralyze you
from
believing you can do certain things? Or, has comparison convinced you that
someone else can do it (whatever "it" is) better than
you?
Thankfully, we can allow God to change the way we
think,
which will change the way we feel, and eventually transform the way we
live!
It's not a quick fix. It's a powerful process of
naming
our doubts, identifying what triggers them, and learning to rely on God's
power
to lead us to live confidently in the security of His
promises.
The next time you feel insecure, ask God what
triggered
your doubts. Process that trigger point through God's perspective and
promises
in the Bible. Ask Him to show you lies you believe and truths to replace
them.
Then let Him change your thought process by focusing on His thoughts about
you
instead of your thoughts about yourself. For instance:
When doubt tells you that you can't do something,
remember
God says you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you
(Philippians
4:13).
When doubt tells you you're not good enough, focus on
the
truth that God says you're fearfully and wonderfully
made;
all of His works are wonderful and you are one of them (Psalm
139:14).
Jesus wants us to live with a confident heart so we
can
accomplish what He's calling us to do. And He wants to change us from the
inside
out so we can learn to completely depend on
Him!
Dear Lord, I'm tired of feeling paralyzed by insecurity. Show
me
what triggers my self-doubt. Help me focus on Your thoughts about me instead
of
my thoughts about myself. I want to learn how to rely on and live in the
security of Your promises. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
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