Lysa
TerKeurst
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans
12:12-13 (NIV)
I remember sitting in the smelly middle school gym
like it
was yesterday.
I'd survived the awkward and much-dreaded moments of
changing into my PE uniform in the girls' locker room. And now I sat on the
hard
bleachers listening to the squeak of tennis shoes, the uneven cadence of
bouncing balls, the teacher's sharp whistle and the girls laughing behind
me.
They weren't laughing with me. That would have meant I
was
accepted, wanted and invited in to be a part of their
group.
No, they were laughing at me.
I was the subject of their gossip. I was the punch
line of
their jokes.
And it hurt.
I imagine you know that hurt too. Change the scenery
and
people, and this same hurt can be found in most of our
lives.
• When your co-workers all make plans to go to lunch,
but
you weren't invited.
• When that other preschool mom says, "Several of us
moms are concerned with how aggressive your child seems on the
playground."
•
When everyone else's social media makes marriage look dreamy and romantic as
you're crying yourself to sleep.
Then a friend steps in with a gentle smile and a few
simple words of encouragement and suddenly you're not
alone.
I want to be that friend for you
today.
In the midst of whatever it is that's made your heart
feel
knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one
can
say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to
a
friend today?
This list is from our key verses, Romans 12:12-13, in
a
section titled "Love."
1. "You're wonderful."
(Romans 12:12, "Be joyful in hope
...")
What a loving thing to infuse joyful hope into your
friend's life by reminding her why you think she is
wonderful.
The world is quick to tell us girls all the ways we
fall
short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.
So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of
specific
ways she's a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a
wonderful wife, a wonderful co-worker, a wonderful
person.
2. "Me too."
(Romans 12:12, "... patient in affliction
...")
What a gift to remind a friend we all have
afflictions,
hurts, faults and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and
physically.
The patient friend freely gives grace because she so
desperately needs it herself. "Me too" acknowledges that I'm no better than
you,
but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming
admission
that we're all in this together.
3. "I'll pray."
(Romans 12:12, "... faithful in
prayer.")
Wouldn't it be wonderful to tell a friend you will
absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have someone who prays for
me
faithfully and even texts me Scriptures she's praying.
But here's what I really love about her. She doesn't
just
pray about my situations. She prays me through them. I honestly don't know
how
she hasn't gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I
get
so tired of me ... but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must
pass on
by being faithful in my prayers for others.
4. "I'll share."
(Romans 12:13, "Share with the Lord's people who
are
in need ...")
When we notice a need in a friend's life, might we be
willing to step in and be part of the solution?
I have a friend who lost every possession she owned
due to
a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a "Job (like the man in the
Bible) Party." Each of us brought a few things to help her family start
over.
We didn't come close to fully meeting their financial
needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family
the
assurance that God was working on their behalf.
5. "Come over."
(Romans 12:13, "Practice
hospitality.")
Welcoming a friend inside the sacred space of our home
is
such a needed gesture. There's just something about relationships that are
less
pixilated when we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice and talk. Really
talk.
Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we
celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table
and
across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of
friendship.
Yes, these are 5 great things, maybe even the best
things,
to say to a friend. So, today, I pause and say them to
you.
Now, I haven't quite figured out how to do that last
one.
It would be such a hoot trying to fit you all in my kitchen, but I sure am
dreaming about it!
Dear Lord, thank You for the gift of friendship. Please show
me
who I can encourage today. In Jesus' Name, Amen.