An important part of God's purpose for marriage is to have someone to help you in life.
(God did not intend for this to be one-sided. A husband also should help his wife. Otherwise, a husband would not love his wife as Christ loves the church. See Ephesians 5:25.)
We all need help and encouragement. Sadly, for most people, that is often not at all what they receive from their spouse.
Your spouse, whether you know it or not, desperately wants and needs your help, your encouragement, and your support.
Are all spouses perfect and deserving of encouragement and support? None are! No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. But especially in those times, it is important that we have someone to encourage us and help us to believe we can go on and do better. God meant for you to be that someone to help your spouse.
Don't fall into the trap of waiting until your spouse starts being nice to you. God's law works in this area, too: whatever you give, you will receive. So the best way to get your spouse to treat you better is to treat them better.
God does not expect you to love and help your spouse solely with your own love, but to allow God to pour His love through you. God loves your spouse -- enough to die for them -- and desires to express that love through you.
If your spouse would not describe you as their encourager, friend, and a great help to them -- you are missing God's plan. You need to be your mate's biggest booster.
Yes, this can be hard. Yes, you have no doubt suffered because of them. Yes, they have hurt you and you probably don't feel like being a blessing to them after what they have done to you. But none of this changes the Word of God and His plan.
Whenever you find direction in God's Word that seems difficult or impossible, your approach should always be to ask God to help you. "Lord, I see in your Word that you want me to do this, but I need your help. Help me to love them. Cause your love for them to flow through me."
SAY THIS: With God's help, I will encourage and help those around me, especially and always, my spouse.