The Day I Almost Gave
UpLeah
DiPascal
"The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and
His
ears are open to their cry for help ... The righteous cry out, and the
LORD hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. The
LORD is near the broken hearted; He saves those crushed in
spirit."
Psalm 34:15-18 (HCSB)
I gripped the steering wheel of my car and stared at
the
hospital emergency doors. My heart pounded furiously, like a time bomb
waiting
to explode. The pressure in my head was almost unbearable. The invisible
weight
on my chest felt like someone dropped a sledgehammer on
me.
Thoughts raced through my mind. I wanted to scream but
could barely breathe a whisper. I just sat there lonely, afraid, shattered
and
completely empty inside.
Should I check myself into the
hospital?
What if they admit me in the psychiatric ward and
won't
let me go home?
Who will take care of my
children?
Will my husband still love
me?
What if my friends find out?
Reaching for my phone, panic rushed over me like a
tidal
wave. A pool of tears cascaded down my face, as I cried, Jesus, please
help
me!
Sitting in my car, unable to move, I continued to pray
and
ask God questions like, How did I get here? I'm a Christian for heaven's
sake! Things like this just don't happen to Christian women – or do they? I
feel
like such a failure.
Looking back now, I can see how years of worry and
stress
had brought me to that day.
Concerns about my family's finances kept me up most
nights. Stress over a high-pressured job caused erratic panic attacks. Worry
about my children's health created knots in my stomach. Struggling to help
my
aging parents resulted in midnight crying sessions.
My concerns consumed me. Worrying became an addiction,
demanding my ongoing attention. I was trying to "hold it all together" on
the
outside, but on the inside, a sea of doubt and fear haunted
me.
Maybe you're in a similar place. Have the stresses of
life
caught up with you too? Are you worried about your finances, health,
marriage,
job or kids? Do you wonder if anyone sees your pain or even cares? If you're
brave enough to cry out for help, will anyone rescue
you?
In today's verse, we are reminded we do have
a
Rescuer:
"The eyes of the LORD are on the
righteous, and His ears are open to their cry for help ... the righteous cry
out, and the LORD hears, and delivers them from all their
troubles.
The LORD is near the broken hearted; He saves those crushed in
spirit" (Psalm 34:15-18).
God sees you and hears your cries for help, even when
no
one else does. He knows your heartache. He sees your pain. If your heart is
broken and you feel crushed from all sides, God promises to be close to you.
Though you may not see Him with you physical eyes, He is
there.
God rescued me that day in the hospital parking lot.
After
several hours of prayer, God calmed my heart and I called my husband. I
reached
out to close friends for help, and the healing started. Although I wanted an
instant miracle, it took time, but God never left my side. He gently mended
my
broken heart and renewed my mind through His Word. He guided me along a
journey
that led to true freedom, for which I am forever
grateful.
Has the stress of life taken its toll, causing you to
feel
afraid, lonely or ready to give up? Is your heart broken today? Let God
rescue
you, friend. He is ready. He is willing. He is able.
Dear Lord, it feels like my life is falling part. I
desperately
need You to rescue me. Thank You for hearing my cries and for delivering me
from
my troubles. Even when I am hidden from others, You see me, Lord. Thank You
saving me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
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